The (Not So Real) Housewives of Transylvania

Comedic Theatre · 5 Acorns Productions · Ages 15+ · United States of America

World Premiere

relationships

comedy

fashion

marriage

parody

performance

vampires

world premiere

About the Project

WORLD PREMIERE! Playing from June 4th thru June 26th at the Actors Company “Let Live” Theater, Hollywood Fringe Festival.

Where Sex And The City meets the Addams Family~

Kristina has it all, charisma, power, great looks, wonderful girlfriends, a handsome and powerful husband—Miklos—and, immortality. Yes, she’s a vampire. In present-day Bucharest, Kristina is having a mid-century crisis and decides that she wants to stop being a vampire, stop feeding on humans, get a divorce from her handsome “coven-leader” husband and……… become HUMAN… again! Kristina is bored of the constant “need to feed” on humans. She is tiring of her limited circle of nocturnal friends. She wants out. Now! Or maybe in a week. Kristina wants to be mortal again and be a normal woman. We soon discover that our four fiendish vampires and their groupie, are as dysfunctional as can be.

And here it is…..

Kristina wants to be human again—possibly impossible. Ali is tired of being second fiddle to Kristina and is always trying oddball ways to depose the Alpha Female Vampire. Mina, the fashionista extraorrdinire, is human but wants to be a vampire, but she wants to be turned at the right time by the right vampire. Miklos is seeing his Coven and his world collapse and he sorely needs to find some new blood and “turn” some humans to build up his coven community. All bat guano is about to hit the fan when Kristina runs into an American duo—writer and producer—who want to film a reality show in Eastern Europe.

Can an American reality television show save the helpless and hopeless vampires from destruction, or worse, mediocrity? A full moon is not the answer. Maybe becoming a star is what Kristina really needs! And maybe, just maybe, this is the change Kristina needs as she introduces the American team (and us) to her world and The (Not So Real) Housewives of Transylvania.

Make us your favorite!!

Characters:

Kristina. The powerful and beautiful, but indecisive, vampire of the Miklos Clan.

Ali. The seductive yet jealous second leading lady and Frenemy of Kristina, but always trying to depose Kristina.

Mina. Kristina’s “Familiar” and the absolute authority of all things fashion, but can’t decide when to become a vampire.

Miklos. The leader of a coven that is losing its authority and vitality and maybe its leading lady. Perhaps a television show is the solution.

Attila. Best Vampire Friend Forever of Miklos, but preparing for his meeting with noted psychiatrist Van Helsing.

Lucy. The practical, but heady American producer for the potential “Housewives of Romania” who has the hots for Miklos.

Quinn. The California Surfer Show Runner who desperately needs another success, even if it means another HOUSEWIVES show in Europe.

Hunk. The perhaps ill-fated Hungarian gigolo who “Goes” for Kristina, but “Gets” Ali.

Janos. Miklos’ big competitor who will fight for the Romanian Media Rights of Housewives of Transylvania.

Marishka. The popular, flirtatious, loose and energetic Vampire girlfriend of Janos who desperately wants to be in the TV show!