Hold Me Down

What I liked

I applaud the actress and writer for her vulnerability- sharing and discussing these events with such openness, and willing to approach trauma with elements of comedy as well as seriousness shows both a level of complexity to her narrative, and also reveals a defense mechanism that she – and many of us – takes when dealing with her own trauma.

I also appreciated the cat character. When the main character was tied up and experiencing a painful bondage situation to try to feel something, the cat character was a great way to describe to the audience what was going on, rather than just playing the main character. Combining what we thought is the comic relief silly character with a serious situation helps us understand what role the cat character plays in how the main character deals with trauma. This was an appealing angle to take.
I think each of the different characters the artist acts as are distinct and recognizably unique- even without the clothing changes I think I would have realized who they were (a testament to consistency!) and I think they all stand out and work within the narrative.

What I didn't like

There are a lot of suggestions/reactions in here and I want to emphasize that they do not diminish or otherwise discount your experiences at the heart of this story. These are merely suggestions on how to channel the story through the medium more effectively:

I think some of the delivery and timing of lines were off. There were many rushed lines to the point where I couldn’t understand what was being said. The comedic timing was shaky, and while I appreciated some of the writing ultimately most of the jokes didn’t land with me.
I think the choreography felt a little lackluster and a little silly. Sometimes it worked, like when the cat character was being silly and maybe improv-ing the choreography. Maybe it wasn’t a show that required dancing per se but I think it could have used more direction/elevation/meaningful choices.
During the song where the artist destroys the set in a whirlwind of emotions, it mainly involved throwing some stuffed animals around. I definitely understand the limitations of a one person show and a DIY set, but the contrast between the intense emotions that were being hinted at, and the visual that was being constructed on stage resulted more in humor rather than being moved emotionally.

I think the singing and songwriting could use some work, although this one is such a personal preference thing. I think the writer is clearly very talented, but the songs weren’t resonating with me. Also, very specific I know- the singer’s strength seems to lie in her belt, and maybe she is not as strong at soft emotive singing. I was expecting the last song to be a massive belt moment and was a little let down by the strength/volume. Again- I understand it may be the limitations of a one person show – I think a mic would have worked well for the last song, both for a star factor Umph but also maybe there’s some symbolism in the character finally having a voice/a way to project her message?
I think the set in general didn’t translate for me, and the ways the character interacted with the ropes mostly felt like weak improv. In the opposite direction, the scene where the character tied herself up as she was talking about TK (I think!) tying her up was much more powerful as the movements felt more cohesive to the narrative, as opposed to some of the dance choreo where she was gently punching the hanging ropes.

This might be a random suggestion but the FRIES song at the beginning is super cute and really thoughtful- but I walked away not knowing what FRIES stood for. Perhaps turning this into a call and response song with your audience would cement the message (as the song goes by so quickly). A genuinely catchy and repeatable call and response song would also help the audience very quickly to open up and be more comfortable with trivia/ interaction etc. as long as the singable parts are very simple and easy to sing for non singers. My partner and I are still trying to remember all of the letter meanings, and a song to sing to each other would be awesome.

I liked how the artist interacted with an audience member in the casino scene. I wish there was a little bit more audience interaction in this sense, rather than at the end where there is a call to action for the audience to get up and dance. When I heard the line (and I’m paraphrasing) get on your feet if you’ve ever felt like me, had to be held down, experienced sexual trauma etc, I felt very uncomfortable. I also have dealt with a lot of what the artist discussed and didn’t feel like I wanted to get on my feet and dance about it. Speaking from a consent perspective, this moment felt a bit like persuaded or peer pressured consent to opt into a “have you ever felt this way, have you ever dealt with sexual trauma” moment. Maybe I interpreted this differently than others, but I noticed the rest of the audience was also slow/reluctant to rise to their feet, and I think it might be good to have a different call to action at the end to get everyone empowered/involved in a way that doesn’t make them feel uncomfortable. Like, maybe a “meow with me” segment at the beginning of the show to warm everyone up into participating (like with the FRIES song suggestion) and bringing it back at the end? Much easier to meow than stand up and dance. But I get that this is a hyper specific and personal reaction, I just thought it would be useful to share.

I appreciated the moment with the sock puppets where the main character’s parents were fighting, and the transition into the porn scene, although the actual voice overs themselves were a bit underwhelming, particularly the male voice over which I thought was not well acted. The puppetry was a fun way of externalizing the parents but I thought some of the puppet choreography could be worked on, as it was a little unclear/overshakey handling. I think this sort of surreal arty moment is on the precipice of being a really strong beat, but just needed a little bit of adjustment for timing and impact . I wish there were more moments like this that worked with pre-recorded lines, or more puppetry or non dialogue acting (like as she’s wearing the headphones). I think this actress is very emotive with her facial expressions and body language, so it would have been nice to have longer, more poignant and experimental media moments like this.

I think that’s my general note; that there’s a lot of really interesting and potentially impactful content in the art, but the taste and timing are perhaps not there yet. But the story at the heart of it all is true, powerful, and vulnerable, which leads me to believe that the artist will continue to strengthen their playwriting muscles as time goes on.

My overall impression

A very vulnerable and brave compilation of poignant moments in a young woman’s life works as a sort of live action therapy session. It feels as though this piece is not just a glimpse into the past of the main character, but an exercise in healing trauma in the present through performance art. A very colorful story with tactile meaningful impact to members of the audience, but told by someone who is still working on how best to deliver and perform her story in the context of the theater.