The Monkey Stays in the Picture

comedy · dennerino production · Ages 10+ · world premiere · United States of America

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Two Old Hollywood Era producers from old Hollywood days (don’t bother yourself with timelines Hollywood is timeless, baby) are making a killing in b pictures, but it takes more than just a pretty face and snappy dialogue to get a picture made. It takes charm, tact, and a good sense with money to make it in this town; all of which our heroes Flint Springs and Richard “Dick” Metro are surely lacking. Watch as these two affable assholes navigate their stars egos, temperamental directors, their rabid fans, and their own shortcomings… and monkeys. This goof-a-palooza retells the golden age of Hollywood as nothing more than a gossamer gilded paint job over a rusty nickel encased turd that’s soaked in orphan piss. Along the way, Springs and Metro stumble their way into the origins of some of Hollywood’s most famous tropes, stars and salads.
On this day we find our heroes having just finished a ten martini twelve course lunch at the historic hollywood haunt “Johnny Loves Chrissy But Don’t Tell Louie Because He’ll Tell Ted.” At the end of the meal they receive a disturbing call from their self-obsessed leading man Tyrone Wintergay who is refusing to act in their picture “Doris Loves Monkey” if they don’t fire America’s favorite orangoutang, Moses the Monkey. Flint and Dick rush to the Stillborn Arms where Tyrone has locked himself in with the monkey in an attempt to make peace and save the film. Just when things seem to have come to a resolution, fiery German auteur and famed Monkey-Lover Warner Börner arrives, furious and heartbroken by Moses’ disappearance. Flint and Dick are forced into a high-level hi-jinks to trick Warner, hide Tyrone, and get the Monkey out of the hotel before the whole damn thing blows up in their faces. In the process, they come up with the idea for “Weekend at Bernie’s”, discover Tom Cruise, and invent the Cobb Salad. Just another day at the office. That’s Hollywood, baby.

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