Dick & Jayne Get A Life

ensemble theatre · three peas productions, lazlo vidor productions · Ages 18+ · world premiere · United States

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Review by CHRISTIAN KRAUSPE
June 27, 2013

My overall impression

Dear Ms. Donato,
I’m writing this because I see that you’re active on the message board so, maybe, just maybe, you’ll see this while you’re googling yourself.
I have no real critique of your performance, other than the fact that you came on stage, screeched through your lines, and left. Frankly, you made me laugh on occasion. But, I’m commenting on your previous post here.
You resigned the show.
You quit.
You quit while the show was still had a performance left. You gave the middle finger to your cast and crew because — you had what? Creative disagreements about your character? HAVE YOU EVER WORKED IN THEATER BEFORE?
It’s not up to you! I’m sure as shit the fellas that played Rosencrantz and Guildenstern had their fingers crossed for more stage time in Hamlet, but we don’t get everything we want in a creative process do we?
No. You quit.
Wow.
People get involved with theatre because it wouldn’t mean anything if it was easy! People do it because they feel like they might want to be apart of something special and you decided YOU WERE MORE IMPORTANT.
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!
Most people that work in theatre and think it’s all about them are shitty actors or shitty writers, and you didn’t write the play so I guess that narrows it down. You’ve managed to turn the selfless act of creating something to giving it to an audience into the most selfish thing an actor can do — letting down the people around you.
No, we get it. It was too hard. This was your Vietnam. You fought hard against the tyranny of Dick and Jayne, and Dick and Jayne won through a battle of attrition. Right before the very last show. I can’t imagine what you went through.
I have a friend in the show and I’ve seen it twice. It’s good. Funny, little irreverent, but more or less pretty fair to above average for the most part.
You quit it because you couldn’t look past your own ego for the sake of your cast and crew.
You give actors a bad name.
Shut up and do your job next time.
I truly feel sorry for anyone who has to work with you in the future.
Wait, wait, wait — were you locked in a basement and systematically beaten and broken down until opening night and the only reason you were performing was out of some version stockholm syndrome only shitty actors get and you’ve only broken free from delusion before the last show? If that’s the case forget everything I’ve said. You’re a gem.
I’m positive the Dick and Jayne will be alright.

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